Crutches make for a rather unfortunate Halloween prop.
I mean….they do open up the door to a lot of costume possibilities.
An injured marathon runner. An injured Olympic athlete. An injured NBA player.
But let’s be honest. No one wants to make out with the injured anything when they can make out with the functionally bipedal sexy “insert noun here”.
I imagine that must be why my roommates stole my crutches from me last Friday and told me I needed to learn to walk again.
(Also, they really wanted us to be a trio of insects for Halloween – ladybug, bumblebee, and butterfly. And nothing says sad and celibate like a butterfly with a crutch.)
So. I did.
It took a little getting used to. There was definitely some kind of learning curve. But I am now officially walking again. (With a minor/barely noticeable limp and little to no pain.)
The first place I walked? To the gym.
Apparently my version of “no exercise” is going to pilates. Daily.
My legs might be losing muscle mass at a rapidly alarming rate. But I intend to have some seriously rockin’ core strength when this is all said and done.
Plus, um. My butterfly costume involves me wearing a dress. And I’d like that dress to not cling in weird places when I put it on tonight. Know what I’m sayin’?
The only way I know of to build core strength is to build core muscles. And to build core muscles you need protein. And you know what has protein? Bacon. Vegetarian tempeh bacon to precise. While I absolutely would not say it tastes like the real thing, what it does taste like is smoky salty deliciousness. Which just happens to pair perfectly with the subtle sweetness of winter squash.
So when I eat this at every meal for the next 24 hours…I’m gonna tell myself I did it in the name of muscle growth. And not because it’s so addictively deliciously that I just couldn’t stop.
That’s some good logic, right there.
GIVEAWAY WINNER – According to the random integer generator, the Eggland’s Best giveaway winner is commenter number 25 – Michelle of Ms. Enplace! Michelle, I’ll be emailing you!
Butternut Squash Carbonara
Serves 4, adapted from Closet Cooking
- 1 medium butternut or kabocha squash, cut into bite-sized chunks
- 8 oz pasta
- 4 slices tempeh bacon, cut into small pieces
- 1 clove garlic, minced
- 1 lb baby spinach
- 2 egg yolks
- 2 tbsp almond milk or regular milk or heavy cream
- 1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese
- Preheat oven to 400. Roast squash on a foil-lined pan for 30-40 minutes or until tender.
- Set up a pot of salted water to boil. Begin to cook the pasta.
- While the water is heating, spray a large nonstick skillet with cooking spray and cook the bacon. Add the garlic and some black pepper. Add the cooked squash to the pan. Remove from heat and set aside.
- In a small bowl, mix the egg yolks, almond milk, and parmesan cheese.
- Place the spinach in the bottom of a colander. Reserve some of the water from the pasta and then strain over the spinach so that the hot water cooks the spinach as you’re draining. Add the pasta and spinach to the pan and toss.
- Remove the pan from the heat. Use the pasta water to temper the egg mixture, pouring in a 3 tbsp, one at a time, and stirring vigorously while adding so the eggs don’t cook. Pour the tempered egg mixture into the pan and toss to coat. Add a bit of the pasta water until sauce has the desired consistency.
- Serve with parmesan cheese.