Dear Mr. Head of Housing Maintenance,
I am a girl on the verge.
Not only do I have two pelvic stress fractures that are currently preventing me from doing the one thing that is most important to me in this world. (Running.)
But I can’t have sex either. Not that I would be having sex seeing as how there is no one to have sex with. But there is something incredibly claustrophobic about the idea that even if I wanted to. I couldn’t. I am a strong, virile, twenty-something female GODDAMNIT. With functional ovaries! (Okay maybe not after the multiple pelvic x-rays that I’ve endured. During which they tried to cover my ovaries by placing a one and a half inch round circular pad just under my belly button. Not where the ovaries are people. Not even close.) And I would LIKE to have the option of using them!
So when I say to you that baking is all I have in this world. That, to quote Bethenny Frenkel on her wedding day, “CAKE IS MY LIFE!” (She was referring to the fact that she couldn’t drink or fit into a normal size dress on her wedding day (isn’t premarital pregnancy a bitch?) and so the only thing that was keeping her going was her slice of red velvet wedding cake. Bethenny Frenkel. You speak to me. I cried when you said this. I understand.)
You’d better believe I’m not kidding.
Because it’s been seven days, nineteen hours, and twenty-three minutes since I’ve been able to mix flour, sugar, butter, and eggs together. Throw them in the oven. And pull out a miracle.
And my fingers are starting to itch.
Scratch that. Burn.
And well. Think about it this way. Not to threaten you or anything. But I have a set of beaters that have been lying dormant in my cabinet. And I know how to use them.
Like I said. Girl on the verge.
Fix my oven. Or else.
Oh and PS. You see these snickerdoodle blondies? These bites of cinnamon-sugar heaven that I baked weeks ago and thankfully had stored up in my recipe backlog, just in case of apocalyptic events such as this? These bars that you absolutely will not be able to have just one of because when the nutmeg hits, it will get you so high that you will fiend for more?
These are what you’re missing out on. Think about it.
Serves 24, adapted from Brown Eyed Baker
2 2/3 cup all purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp ground nutmeg
2 cups packed brown sugar
1 cup butter, softened
1 tbsp vanilla extract
2 tbsp granulated sugar
2 tsp cinnamon
1. Preheat the oven to 350. Line a 9×13 inch baking pan with parchment paper or aluminum foil and grease. Set aside.
2. Whisk together the flour, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg in a medium bowl. Set aside.
3. Beat together the butter and brown sugar on medium speed until light and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time, scraping down the bowl after each addition. Add in the vanilla. On low speed, mix in the flour/dry ingredients until just combined.
4. Spread the dough evenly into the pan. Combine the granulated sugar and cinnamon in a small bowl. Sprinkle evenly over the top of the batter.
5. Bake for 25-30 minutes or until the surface springs back when gently pressed. Let cool on a wire rack. Cut into squares and serve.
This is my submission to this week’s Weekend Herb Blogging, which is being hosted by Laurie of Mediterranean Cooking in Alaska.