Most people spend most of their lives waiting for three small words.
I, being the high maintenance femme fatale that I am. Have spent the last eight months. Waiting. For five.
But the thing about all this waiting is that what usually happens. Is that you wait until you can’t wait anymore.
And then just when you throw up your hands, scream a few obscenities out your twelfth story apartment window, and pile up all of your running gear hope into a large box and shove it under your bed without looking back any more than twenty times.
I was lying in bed on Friday, midday. Dawdling my life away. When my cell phone rang.
The first three digits revealed that it was the Hospital for Special Surgery. Sigh. Great. More insurance woes. (Isn’t being injured fun? I might just be the only person with not one, but two insurance companies who I’m supposedly paying to cover me, but who up and down refuse to acknowledge that (a) I actually exist and (b) I am actually their client. Although, I hate to tell them. I have the insurance cards to prove it.)
“Hello,” I said. In as exasperated a tone as I could muster.
“Hi. May I please speak to Joanne?”
“This is Dr. Ranawat’s assistant. He just wanted me to call and tell you that your stress fractures are healed.”
What sort of a bullshit prank call was this? Healed? Pssshhh. Doubtful. I hung up on her. And immediately started typing out an email to my brother explaining why tugging on someone’s heartstrings was not an acceptable activity for a Friday afternoon.
Phone rings again. Same number. God, these people are relentless!
“Hello,” I said. More irate than ever.
“Hi, sorry we must have gotten disconnected. Your stress fractures are healed.”
“Look, miss. I don’t know who put you up to this but it’s been very funny. Hysterical actually. I’m going to go on with my life now.”
“No, Joanne. You must not understand. The MRI that you had on Wednesday? Dr. Ranawat read it and wanted to tell you that the fractures are healed and that he’ll talk to you about it more at your appointment on the 26th.”
Wait. I never told my brother that I had an appointment on the 26th. How did she…
Holy crap. My stress fractures are healed. MY STRESS FRACTURES ARE HEALED. MY STRESS FRACTURES ARE HEALED!
I spent this weekend celebrating. There may or may not have been a mango-infused pina colada involved. I may or may not have eaten my weight in chocolate ganache and buttercream frosting.
And now I may or may not have to start whipping my butt back into shape. Because let’s be real. Remember the freshman fifteen? From college.
Food blogger fifteen. Right here.
And now that I have something to work towards. Like, say. Running an 8 minute mile again. I think it’s time I get rid of it.
Who’s with me?
And really, with fabulous healthy food like this heirloom tomato salad. It won’t be so hard. Although I will say that you have to actually use heirloom tomatoes for this, at least if you want to get the full delicious effect. I used to be of the opinion that all tomatoes were created equal. I was wrong. Heirlooms tomatoes have such complex, intriguing flavors. That they put regular old vine-ripened Camparis. To shame. And take what would be an otherwise ordinary tomato salad with feta and dill. And make it something that you will actually start to crave. Even if you are a self-professed salad hater. Like some high maintenance femme fatales that I happen to know.
Remember to send me your entries for Regional Recipes: PUERTO RICO!
Heirloom Tomato Salad with Red Onions, Dill and Feta
Serves 4, adapted from Symon’s Live To Cook
1-2 lb heirloom tomatoes, cut into chunks (Symon calls for 1 lb. But I dare you to have the self control to only buy one pound of heirloom tomatoes when they are just sitting there. So darn purty-like.)
1 red pepper, seeded and cut into chunks
1/2 red onion, sliced paper thin and soaked in ice water for 10 minutes
1 cucumber, thinly sliced (Symon only calls for 1/3 cucumber. Who does that?)
1 clove garlic, minced
1 cup kalamata olives, whole and pitted
1 cup feta crumbles
1/4 cup fresh dill, roughly chopped
1/4 cup fresh mint, roughly chopped
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
1/4 cup olive oil (Symon calls for 1/2 cup. Uh. Yeah. No.)
Salt and pepper to taste
1. Cut and prep all of the ingredients. Drain the onion and pat dry.
2. Whisk together the garlic, red wine vinegar, olive oil and a pinch of salt. Add in the cucumber, red pepper, red onion, olives, dill, and mint. Let marinate for 15-20 minutes.
3. Stir in the tomatoes and feta. Season to taste with salt and pepper.